Today I had to go to the Queen's courthouse. Its been over 1 year since I was arrested and still the site of a courthouse makes me nauseous. I think of those times sitting on the bus from Riker's, having to get up at 4:30am to be shuffled around in handcuffs to get on a 8am bus and all of the other inmates fighting, the whole thing just makes me ill.

I wish I never had to go to court again. Somehow, its a never-ending saga. I have tax court, and now civil court. This time however, I am the plaintiff- not the defendent. Part of my empowerment to rectify some of the injustices that occured while I was in jail. What people don't realize is that when your in jail - your entire life is in someone else's hands, you are at the mercy of other people because you cannot do anything for yourself. You get a whopping 21 minutes of phone time, twice a day, and you can't even begin to pay your bills and talk to your attorney with that piddly little amount of time.

While I am a smart business woman- I put my trust in numerous untrustworthy people. One of whom was a person I thought I loved. This person spent tens of thousands of dollars on credit cards while I was in jail. I added it up - he visited me roughly 14 times. He spent roughly $35k on my amex alone. That would mean he was making $2,500 per hour- most of my best girls didn't even make that much! And his visits were not worth it, I'd have rather sat there and rotted alone than have to pay for someone's love.

The other one- well my former attorney is a piece of work. He stole from my mother and left me to rot there in jail while he filed ridiculous motions he knew had no chance of winning and vacationed in St. Tropez. Gotta love that one. At least he had a nice tan in court. It was a big joke at the courthouse when after another failed motion, I would request to see him- they would say "sorry, he is out giving his press conference" and laugh....

I'm quite lucky now to have a few trustworthy people in my life. My mother- mom I love you! And my attorney Dan Hochheiser www.hochheiser.com. Without the 2 of them, I'd be lost.

Ohh and back to civil court, well I'm there now and it will be a long process. But today wasn't nearly as bad as last year. And I made a new friend at the courthouse!