Yesterday I decided to go on a date. I recently met a guy, he seemed nice enough and he wanted to have dinner. Actually, he was pursuing me pretty strongly, lavishing me with compliments and sweet talk, asking to see me daily – so I decided to give him a chance. This was against my better judgment since I had an idea that he was not what he seemed.

In typical girl fashion, I asked him to come over by my house. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have gone to his place since it’s a hike and I didn’t care to go that badly. We ended up at a local Thai restaurant which I thought was a good spot for a first date. Upon arrival, he started with 20 questions as if I was on trial. He wanted to know about my past, my business, how I ran it, how I found my girls, etc etc. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. he then told me he didn't have the job he claimed to have and worked at a nightclub my ex works at. Then, he started asking me about my ex-boyfriend because he felt like he knew him. I drew my boundary in the sand and said “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this”. I say “sand” because in this instance I found I let my boundary move around a bit when I should have drawn it in spray paint on gravel surrounded by spikes. He kept right on railroading me to tell him who my ex is. I continued with “I don’t want to discuss this” and he kept right on interrogating me.

Then he started manipulating. He started naming names of people he thought it could be. 8th name in he said my ex’s name and I cringed. He caught the look on my face like a fisherman with a marlin on the end of the line. He kept right on reeling me in asking me if it was him, surprised it was him and then saying “if you don’t tell me if its him, I’m going to call him right now and ask him”. He even got out his phone to start dialing! Woah buddy…that’s MY boundary there that you are currently crossing!!!

So I caved. I most definitely did not want this guy calling my ex so I confirmed it was him. I know I know – I should have dumped his food on him for bullying me and left immediately. I am too nice for that- however, if I had to do over again I most definitely would do just that. He started in again – telling me ALL about my ex’s new girlfriend and how they do a lot of coke together. How he hangs out with them a couple of times a week but my ex is never sober and is an alcoholic, drug addict. Then he starts telling me more about him and her –at this point, you can clearly see I’m visibly upset but he kept right on going. He tells me stories about hanging with my ex, my ex and strippers and some lovely times they had while my ex was cheating on me.

Let me stop and take a moment to say this isn’t the first time I’ve heard rumors like this since we broke up. It’s funny who tells you what when they feel “free” to do so. I’ve heard similar stories and worse from some of my ex’s best friends, from his "boys" and from girls he dated before, after and during our relationship– and while I was in jail. So I guess this shouldn’t come as a shock to me but I still don't want to hear it!

Of course as this guy is telling me this I’m wanting desperately to leave. I’m thinking of ways to run from the table and maybe go to the bathroom and never come back. i'I'm wondering if its possible to fake sick and leave. Unfortunately, it’s a small restaurant and we were in front. At that point, I asked him if we could change the subject. We would but then he would go right back to it. Finally, I said I was tired and wanted to go home.

We walked back to my house where I tried to say goodbye but he had left his umbrella and jacket inside. He came in and sat down. He wanted to watch a movie. I think I was partly in shock and partly upset with myself since I knew I didn’t want to date him anyhow so I was cursing my lack of trusting my gut instinct. I mean really- aren’t first dates where you put your best foot forward? In the course of 2 hours, he had hurt my feelings, broken cardinal rule #1 by talking about my ex, trampled my personal boundaries, insulted and manipulated me.

I sat down and very honestly said, "I’d like you to leave". He looked shocked.  I said I don’t feel comfortable or good about this after you railroaded me into talking about my ex and I’d like to go to sleep now. He told me I was being inhospitable and that he was in some strange area and it was rude to kick him out at 1am. I told him I was sorry he felt that way and I wasn’t trying to be rude but after talking about my ex for an hour – I just want to be left alone. He then said – what if I tell you if you kick me out then you will never hear from me again? I said – so be it! I called him a car service and stuck him in it. It did take me a good 30 minutes to get him off my couch because he kept persisting that he had never been kicked out of a girl’s house before and I was rude and making excuses because of my ex.

I cannot believe what a putz that guy was. I mean really - did he think that would make me like him? Maybe telling me all that he thought he would make himself look good and get laid? For the record- I'm not easy, I'm picky and there is no chance I'm screwing you on a first date - not even on the second. But still - that is definitely not behavior that would make me ever want to see him again.

I just think my jeroff detector was off that day. Actually it was working fine- I ignored it and will never do so again! I would have rather had dinner alone or with Ellliot Spitzer than that guy! And that says alot...